23. The Films That Moved Me

The films that I've been slowly consuming and intentionally dissecting for you all.

I’ve been thinking a lot about consumption and how we are constantly consuming, and most of the time we aren’t even realizing it. Consumption of material things that make us feel good in the moment. Of ideas that change our perception going forward. And of things and ideas that add no value to our lives at all. Our phones are on hand at every second of the day, and we are surrounded endlessly by things that offer us the opportunity to consume. And there is always the possibility of instead being consumed by what we are consuming when it is done without purpose. That is always what scares me the most about social media today.

Lately, I’ve been a bit overwhelmed with the amount out there in the word to take in. Instagram recommendations showing up on my feed that make completely no sense for me. A walk down the street, and we are surrounded about ads here and there. Recommendation culture is next level, that even the act of making a decision to eat at one of the newly opened restaurant is dizzying. And of course the noise of the news buzzing in the back of my head continuously just adds to the pressure to being in the know. Even the bookstore can feel overwhelming as I continue to add to my list of must-reads but never actually get around to doing it even though the pressure to tackle it all keeps piling on. It makes me feel a bit confused and lost in terms of my focus. And when I realize that my mind is having trouble staying still on one task before jumping onto another one, two or three, then I know I need to take a step back. Turn off my phone. Put it into another room. And shut the door for a little while.

There’s always this idea that more is better. But as the days go by, the opposite seems to feel more true. For me, sitting down to watch a movie not just for entertainment, but to be enjoyed with intention, is my way of slowing down and consuming in a way that feeds my soul and my brain in the best way possible for a visual, storytelling-loving person like me. Film is where I build a wall of protection around myself. A place uncorrupted by mindless scrolling and fast forwarding to only the good parts. For me, watching a film is a safe place where I won’t let myself fall into the traps of meaningless overconsumption. I even cancelled all of my streaming services except for Mubi and Max, but only because Max has an amazing Criterion collection archive and my watchlist feels like a rare collection of jewels on display at the museum. The White Lotus is my only once a week tv indulgence (I’m still human, okay, lol). When a film moves me and instills in me feelings that continue to linger, I allow them to patiently sit, bubble and resonate within me, all for myself until it naturally flows time to other parts of my life that seem fit. And this kind of consumption feels super rare these days.

One of the main reasons that drive me away from modern day filmmaking, especially what is mainstream these days, is how the storylines are force fed to viewers, as if they don’t have a brain of their own to find their own interpretations through nuances, through composition, through color theory, through choice of editing style, through what isn’t shown or said but instead through what can be interpreted of what is under the surface. There’s enough force fed to me and mystery is completely lost these days. I miss the style of filmmaking that wasn’t so straightforward as it is now. This is just a personal preference for me, but it’s an intentional preference as there is only so much we can actively make the choice to consume or not consume these days. I don’t want a movie to just be background noise for when I scroll my phone or juggle extra tasks, I want to be challenged and stimulated and focused for the entire duration of watching.

If any of you guys are feeling the same, then I think you’ll appreciate this post. Sharing some of the movies that really hit a chord with me, and left me thinking about life and emotions and everything they entail. A reminder that there is much beauty to be discovered when you are sucked into a story and it sits with you for days, in no rush to get onto the next thing.

A Swedish Love Story, 1970, Directed by Roy Andersson

This movie was so precious to me. I remembered hearing about it years ago and finally got around to watching it one night. A beautifully shot film about the nuances of first love in a world that is hardened by the choices and regrets that come with adulthood. This film does an amazing job at showing the quiet and innocent ways in which young love buds through dreamscape shots where less is said and more is shown. You instantly get transported to a time in your own life where you were in a similar time and place. And it contrasts this soft and innocent feeling with a more mature, capitalistic-tinged pessimism that comes with the transition to adulthood and the death of that raw sort of love. Two worlds far, far apart, existing at the same time, in the same place. This film still lingers in my mind and was just beautiful shot after beautiful shot.

Cries and Whispers, 1972, Directed by Ingmar Bergman

A film full of agony and emotion, down to the detail of every action, every placement, every facial expression, every shadow. It is hard to watch and digest at most moments. But that is also why you can’t stop watching and be pulled into this world of three sisters, one of which is dying, and the complicated relationships that they all have with each other that really come to the surface in the the face of impending mortality within closed in walls of red. The color red, which is dominant in this film, against white and black secondary colors, plays an ever looming character itself. To me, the red was a color representative not only of a horror film, but more of every single mixed emotion inside a human being, bubbling at the surface and ready to spill over and be exposed at any moment. In a way, this exposition of the inner, most darkest feelings we have as a human is as close to horror as one can get. Poetic, artful and deeply haunting until the very last moment, Cries and Whispers is a true cinematic experience unlike anything I’ve ever watched before.

Stroszek, 1977, Directed by Werner Herzog

A heartwarming, strange and comedic at times film that totally caught me off guard with how much I felt connected to its weird and offbeat yet lovable repertoire of characters and the random and bizarre scenarios they find themselves in. Characters like these ones are not ones you usually see as the main characters of today’s mainstream films. And I’m so happy that this film introduced me to them. And the main characters are all played by non-actors, which lends an air of realism so profound. I can expect no less from the incredible Werner Herzog, who is famous for his way of seeing the world; a lens that pays tribute to uplifting the beauty of those who are seen as the outcasts of society. Herzog tells stories like no other, and in the most fascinating of ways. It’s a road trip story about leaving a tormented situation in Germany and going in search of a better life to the USA. The American Dream from the perspective of a European hanging by his last coat threads. A film about the failure of the concept of the American Dream is nothing new in cinema, but the way that Herzog shows it here is a way that I’ve never seen before and I’m grateful that I know it now. The road that the characters take to being exposed to an illusion and the complete destruction of the dream in the end is unexpected, kooky, memorable and eye-opening.

One of my favorite lines from the film:

Bruno Stroszek: We’re in America now. I thought that in America everything would get better and that we would finally reach our goal. But no. Bruno is being chopped off as if he’d never existed. You wouldn’t recognize me any more.

Eva: Bruno, nobody kicks you here.

Bruno Stroszek: No, not in that way. Not visibly. But they do it mentally.

The Innocents, 1961, Directed by Jack Clayton

After I finished this horror film, I was left in awe. Not just was it beautiful in stunning black and white with intoxicating harsh shadows that turn the Victorian mansion setting into an endless black hole that seems larger than life. This was probably one of the most complex horror movies I’ve ever seen, and I can’t believe it was made in 1961. You really have to shake your brain a bit during this one, trying to make sense of all the haunted confusion taking place in front of your eyes, but the challenge is well worth it. A ghost story. Sexual repression. Innocence. When the lines between reality and delusion really begin to blur. Sometimes the scariest things are the ones that come from within one’s own imagination. And that is what is the most shudder-inducing thing about this masterpiece. Feel free to dissect it apart as I did after watching it.

Wild At Heart, 1990, Directed by David Lynch

David Lynch doing what David Lynch does best. Giving us something wild, weird and relentlessly charming. Characters so over-the-top exaggerated, yet you cannot help but love them despite their complete and utter wackiness. The characters portrayed by Nicholas Cage and Laura Dern were so out there and so much fun to witness. I admired their commitment to love and music and being whisked away by it all in a crazy, unrefined world. You can expect all the amazing aesthetics of a David Lynch film here, from colors and costumes to set design and composition, and the uncanny nods to The Wizard of Oz. Laura Drew was such an electric shining star in this movie. This film is exactly what it sounds likes and I love that. A true indulgence film at its best.

Tokyo Sonata, 2008, Directed by Kiyoshi Kurosawa

This Japanese director is known for horror, and here he takes this concept and applies it to the ordinary, everyday Japanese nuclear family. This was one of those films where at the end I just sat back and was like woah … that really hit hard. The film is really about giving into the pressures instilled not only by society, but by our own selves, to fit into a mold of ideals that shape our sense of worth. The straight lined, nearly numbed feeling of daily routine tinged with a sense of dissatisfaction at ones own life sits heavy throughout the film, as the main character keeps secret from his family the reality of his life and work situation which is almost too much to bare. Imagine wanting to start over and be a brand new, ideal person every single day, and the suffering that this would instill on yourself and on your family. This film really makes you think so much about how much we give up our lives to the rat race, trying to fit in and be accepted, with no end in sight. How this affects the lives of the children who don’t fit the mold, how it affects the life of the partner who feels stuck in a mundane routine that feels absolutely pointless and empty yet totally inescapable. This film encapsulates the strictly regimented ideals of everyday life in Japan, and it felt so relatable and so real, especially in today’s world. I felt like it was a perfect movie at the end because of the way it plays with our emotions in such a raw way.

Happy watching my loves :) Can’t wait to share my next round of films that moved me with you.